Showing posts with label NaNoWriMo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NaNoWriMo. Show all posts

Monday, November 18, 2013

NaNoWriMo 2013: Past the “Halfway” Point

Redwood in the Stout Memorial Grove

…and my word count is ZERO.

That’s right, goose egg.  Nada y nada…

So I should be in a state of panic, flailing through the murk and mud of desperation, frantically flinging that mud at a blank page just so I have something that just might stick, right?

imageWrong.  Because, so far, NaNoWriMo 2013 has been a success for me.

How can this be? 

Well, it is a success because it is accomplishing its goal; it has me thinking about writing and the writing process every day.  It has taken my book out of its 11-month hiatus and put it back into the forefront of my mind, not as a “Once I get some time, and the fairies flutter, dancing through the air ‘midst the flying pigs, I will sit down and finish my book…” sort of project but as a real and active project that requires scheduling and thought and work and sacrifice of sleep and a revision of other goals to happen.

NaNoWriMo 2013 has been a success for me, so far, because it has allowed me to do these things and to, therefore, be a writer again for the first time since early December 2012. 

Unfortunately, because of that 11-month hiatus, my writing process does not allow me to dive immediately right back into writing on this novel.  Sure, I could review my outline and notes, re-read the last 20 pages and dive in, but I know that the inconsistencies this would create within the draft would take more time to hammer out later than it is worth, and there is always the danger that some of those continuity errors, from style to major plot points, might survive through to later drafts, so I’d rather take the time to do this right, and that means reading before writing.

And I have been reading, so I can say work on the novel has resumed, which is a very exciting thing for me.  Plus, the process of reading is getting me fired up to do some writing, hopefully very soon.

So I should end November with some points on the board, though it may be nowhere near 50K mark.  But this is okay.  As I wrote at the beginning of the month, my goals are different this year.

And so far, considering my personal goals for this year, I feel that this has been a very successful NaNoWriMo for me, even if my word count is still at zero. 

It has been a struggle, though, to start building the habits I’ll need to see this project through to the end.  Working on my novel every day?  Not even close, yet, but I am getting closer.  It is a process and, like I mentioned before, it involves scheduling time and revising goals in other areas of life and it involves making a few sacrifices, not only in the sleep department.  But it is a win, so far, because, for the first time in a long time, I am doing these things instead of thinking about doing these things or, my favorite cop out, trying to do these things and failing.

As for the novel itself, there is a lot to be gained from reading it after such a long break.  I remember the broad strokes but not all of the details, and this break has really allowed me to see the text with fresh eyes, seeing where my backstory is clear and where it needs to be fleshed out more, what details are redundant and can be trimmed and which need to be emphasized a little bit more.

Overall, I am pleased with the way the narrative is holding together, though some structural concerns I’ve had since early November last year will need to be addressed in the next draft. 

To be sure, reading and editing are considered mortal sins in NaNoWriMo, and I’d be crazy to do much editing at this point in the draft anyway, so I am limiting myself to some light red inking and the occasional sparse note.  If I am not careful, I could easily get lost in the lotus fields of endlessly tweaking the first chapters and never finishing a complete draft, and this is a trap I know not to fall into at this point in my development as a writer.

Moreover, what this process is giving me is not only the desire to see the first draft through to the end, but to also get started on the rewrite pretty darn quick when I am done with the first draft.  I do not believe, due to that 11-month break, that a normal incubation time will be needed between the first and second draft because I’ve had a year break already on the first 86,000 words. 

My eyes and ears are clear and ready to work and I am excited to see what this will look like when it is done, hopefully much sooner than later.  And if it were not for NaNoWriMo 2013, I am not sure that the end would ever arrive.  For that, I am very thankful.  Regardless of how much actual writing I accomplish by the end of the month, I already consider 2013 a personal win because I am working on writing once again, and since I am working, reaching the end of this novel is actually possible now.

I’ve got two novels already, for various (and valid) reasons, laying half written on the dust heap.  It would break my heart to add a third…

Of course, for this year to truly count as a win for me, with my personal goals, I have to keep working on this novel past the end of November, through December, and on into and through 2014.  So, unlike most people, I will not know if I have “won” NaNoWriMo 2013 or not on December 1.  It will take some time to tell whether or not I’ve met or exceeded my November goals, and that is my challenge this year.

Zero words, no problem.  So far, so good, though, and I am making real progress towards accomplishing my November goals.

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Saturday, November 2, 2013

NaNoWriMo 2013: The Plan

November 2 and my word count is zero.  Yep.

And I’ve been planning on writing a blog post about NaNoWriMo 2013 for about a week now…

Well, we all have to start somewhere.

In a sense, though, I have started because I am taking the rebel route this year and finishing the book I started last year instead of starting a new one.   Because of this, I am not going for a “win” this year with 50,000 words.

And I am not even setting a goal of finishing my book.

So why even “participate” if I am not really participating, if I am not even setting any goals?

Because, to me, one of the primary purposes of NaNoWriMo is that it gives aspiring writers a framework to build solid writing habits, and this is something I am in terrible need of this year.

I’ve been a professional writer for years, but it has been technical writing.  Honestly, I find it difficult to even call that writing.  Most of what I do in that field is layout design, photography, and cutting and pasting.  But I’ve always considered myself a writer, it’s just been many, many years since I’ve actually done any real writing.

Last year, during my first NaNoWriMo, I finally felt like I was coming home to the craft I’d been neglecting for far too long.  I was writing fiction for the first time in over a decade and I was writing a lot and almost every day.  I was building all those good habits I’d been neglecting for so long: daily work, writing even if I wasn’t in the mood, working through blocks and deadspots, staring down the smug cold stare of the blank page and making it my bitch…

It felt good.  And the community of writers online, who were all in the same place I was, going through the same things I was going through, added just enough encouragement to get through the tough spots.  Writing is usually a very solo and sometimes lonely art, and I loved the community feel that NaNoWriMo (especially the Portland Facebook Group) brought to the experience.

In 2012, things went great.  I jammed through my 50K and finished somewhere in the mid-60s.  I didn’t finish the book, which was a goal, but it was firing along nicely and I was still working.  Then, in mid-December, the next big project came along and I had to set the novel aside for while, but I was fired up and knew that I’d pick it up again, soon.

Then another project, then another project… 

In the spring, I decided it was time to get back to work.  My break had been long enough that continuity was going to be an issue, so  I was going to use NaNoEdMo (Novel Editing Month) in March to re-familiarize myself with the draft so far and get some red inking in to prepare for Camp NaNoWriMo in April…  Life got busy, more photography and video projects came rolling through…  No editing, no writing…  Not even any reading.

And now it is November again, and here I am.

So I will be a renegade in 2013.  I will participate this year, but I will have different goals, and the primary one is to build better writing habits that are sustainable while working on other projects.  Because of this, I do not want to drop everything and jam through to 50K or even just the end of the book, if that is (hopefully) closer than 50K words away.

I fear that if I set that goal and saw that it was unattainable that I would just bail on November entirely, like I did last Spring when things got busy, and that is exactly the opposite of what I want to do this year.

I also cannot drop everything for one project, and with the heavy demands of my family on my time (I am something like the on-site, full time social worker for my extended family, a role that is my “day job” right now), I need to work on making writing a part of my life most days, not just for insane spurts a couple months out of the year.  So even if I could drop everything for a mad NaNoWriMo rush, doing so runs counter to my goals.

A few days back, while trying to find time (see, that is the issue I am trying to fix here) to write this post, an old friend of mine, Mia Marshal posted a great post on NaNoWriMo, about what it has meant to her and on why she is not participating this year.

In essence, Mia explains that “NaNoWriMo…  taught me what it means to be a writer.”  It taught her the discipline one needs and it gave her the tools she needs and the experience she needs to be a full time, professional writer.  However, for her, because she has learned these lessons, now she is in a great place where:

…what I used to call NaNoWriMo, I now just call writing. At some point in the last two years, 50,000 words a month became my new normal, and it’s why I now call myself a writer.

Recently, I found myself in the mind blowing position where I needed to get some business cards printed up for my photography and video work.  Not because I wanted them, but because people kept asking me for one.  However, at the end of the day, I still consider myself a writer first, so I put that on my new cards, as well.

But Mia boils it down to the brass tacks.  I can call myself a writer all day long, and I can consider myself a writer, because I used to do that thing and because I want to do that thing again.  But until I can make NaNoWriMo every month, and not a crazy, burn everything except for writing experience but a natural, intergral part of what I do most days, then it doesn’t matter what is on my card or in my heart, because I am not doing the thing that I am claiming to do.

So my goal for NaNoWriMo 2013 is not a word count.  My goal this year is to develop the discipline and tools I need to make writing a regular habit, a near daily part of my life, whether or not it is writing 1,667 words per day or not.  And yes, I do want to finish last year’s book. But, if I succeed in my goal, it doesn’t matter if I finish it by the end of November or not, because I will finish it.  And I will edit and rewrite.  And I will start working on the next one after that.

A few years ago I started posting a Photo of the Day on Rubble.  I stopped doing that a little over a year ago, because I felt that I’d achieved my goals with that project, which was forcing myself to work on photography every day.

As I wrote when I ended the Photo of the Day:

When I first started the POTD on February 13, 2011, I was in a very different place in life than I am right now.  I was in a rebuilding phase and, as a part of that rebuilding, I wanted to put more focus on photography as I moved ahead in life.

Well, if the main goal of the project was to inspire me to take more photos, that is a mission accomplished. 

Beyond accomplishing the goal of taking more photos, it also made me a better photographer.  When I started the POTD project in early 2011 I was someone who enjoyed taking pictures.  Almost three years later, I am going pro, and a big part of that is because I work on it every day in one way or another.  At this point, I don’t need an artifical framework to force myself to do this.  It now just who I am and what I do.

Starting a similar process with my fiction writing?  That is my goal for NaNoWriMo 2013.

It is November 2 and I still haven’t re-read my draft from last year, so that is where I am starting.  Organizing my notes and re-reading the existing draft.  After that, I’ll either continue working towards finishing that draft, or I’ll start a complete re-write, depending on what I find over the next few days.  Either way, it will be a little time before I break zero on my word count.

But this is good.  Because I am doing it and not just thinking about it.  It’s been too long since I’ve been doing and not just thinking about it, and I look forwards to getting to know my characters again.  I’ve been away from them for far too long and, I promise, it will be different this time!

A Bookkeeping Note…

For the last year or two, I was posting these sorts of posts on my Rubble blog.  However, over time my plans for these blogs have changed and evolved.  At one point, Rubble was going to be my blog for all things arts oriented and this was going to be my blog for personal stuff, whether it was posts about family oriented issues, pictures of the kids, or just self-indulgent navel gazing.

I suppose that over the last year, I’ve come to realize that posts like this one are probably more in the self-indulgent navel gazing category rather than in the arts category. 

Well, that may be a bit harsh.  But as my artistic and professional life has evolved over the last year or so, so has my plans for these blogs.  I was originally going to write a series of articles on my son’s special needs and dealing with life with a son with ASD and other such things for this blog, but I really don’t have the time now to do such a thing (oh, and it also turns out that ASD was a mis-diagnosis). 

So one reason to move these posts from Rubble to SE2 is so I’ll actually have stuff to post here!  But still, they are more personal and I want to, from here on, at least, keep Rubble for other sorts of less personal posts.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Where I am with what now…

From Rubble: Where I am with what now…

Tower Repair  Sloughouse, California.  December 20, 2012.

Overall, family needs have taken much more of my time than I'd hoped the last few weeks, so I was not able to do much with NaNoEdMo last month and Camp NaNoWriMo is looking like a pass this month, too. I'll get to my novel, but now is apparently not the time for me to be finishing the darn thing.

I've got about a week to finish my next Genero.tv video and then I may have a little video project on deck after that one. We've got to re-launch the house hunt. We've got a lot of work ahead with the boys over the next month or so as we finalize some plans for their education next year. And life, unexpected, will continue to show up in both exciting and wonderful or disappointing and ugly ways, depending on the day...

So, that's what's going on right now... 

Taking this down for now.  Maybe things will change later this month, but for now?  Maybe one of the later sessions this year.

 
 
 
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Sunday, March 10, 2013

What’s next? Another video, some editing, & some writing…

From Rubble: What’s next? Another video, some editing, & some writing…

Lowering through the smoke.   Big Lava Bed.  Skamania Co., Washington.  September 16, 2012.
Forgot to set my clock for the time change and now my computer is running slow.  Annoying morning.  Rushing to get out the door for church (or not) and, later, an old friend’s memorial service.

But I wanted to take a few minutes (precious minutes) to pause and take stock for a minute…

Finished my Dead Can Dance video last week.  A LOT of hard work went into that, all during a very hectic time in my life.  I am proud of it, but I know that it is not what it should be.

At first I was very relieved that it was done and I was looking forward to being able to really take some down time and to re-focus my attention on some family issues (the little one is having a pretty rough time right now and, of course, part two of the great move…) and on still photography and writing…

This was supposed to be the first time since mid-October when I didn’t have a big project deadline hanging over my head and big ticket life stuff going along at the same time.

Of course, there is still the whole chore of getting a house, but we are taking a time out from that endeavor to focus on getting stabilized as a family after all of the big ticket items going down since November.

However, with my video, at the last moment I realized that it might not be eligible to win because of the sculptures I used in it.  It was all public art (or visible from the street, at the very least) and I thought that it would be all right to use those images without releases.  However, a closer look at the fine print, and it might not be.

So, if my video is selected as a finalist or as the winner, there may be a crazy 72 hours running around trying to get clearances for the sculptures in the video.  However, unfortunately, I don’t think it is going to be an issue.

I wanted to spend a lot of time working on the editing for that piece, and it ended up being a last minute rush job because real life intruded heavily the week before the deadline.  I sort of feel like I submitted a first draft, not a final draft. 

Because of these two issues, I am left feeling really unfulfilled after all of the work I put in.

Genero has another video project up, though, that I would really like to work on.  I can use a lot of footage I shot for the Dead Can Dance video, shoot a little bit of new stuff, and bang this one out pretty quick with proper time to edit the thing.

In some ways, it will feel like a re-do of the Dead Can Dance video.  Not really, because it will be exploring slightly different themes, so maybe it is more like a follow up? 

Considering all the unused footage I have left from Dead Can Dance, some lessons learned while working on the DCD piece, and the fact that it is a shorter song, this should be a project I can knock down without disrupting our lives too much between now and the April deadline.

And it doesn’t feel like a big crazy deadline project because of this, though there will still be a little bit of dropping everything and running during the three or four days of sunshine we have between now and the deadline.  Need more time lapse footage!

Of course, it does look like I am allowed to re-tweak the Dead Can Dance video and re-upload it.  The deadline is met, but I can still modify the thing, apparently.  However, I need a couple more days distance before deciding whether or not to spend a crazy 24 hours or so re-cutting the damn thing.

Pretty much I feel like I’ve done the work I can put in on this one and that it is time to move on, though if a couple small changes might help it, then maybe…   However, I am not going so far as to take the worrisome sculptures out, because that would involve re-thinking the whole video.  I could do this, but it would not be the video I wanted to make at all.

Then there is the writing.  After the two big video projects (One Day On Earth and the Dead Can Dance video), I need to get back on finishing the first draft of my novel! 

A plan has evolved.  First I will re-emerse myself in the novel through this month’s National Novel Editing Month, and then I will finish the first draft during April’s Camp NaNoWriMo.

This is something of a change in direction for me.  I haven’t looked at the thing since the first week of December or so, so I knew I’d have to go back and at least read the draft I have so far, but then I discovered that a group is running  NaNoEdMo this month (National Novel Editing Month).  My first reaction was that I did not want to get bogged down with editing the first 2/3 of the book before I’d written the ending…

Yet, since there will have to be some reading this month anyway, and that will be accompanied by some red inking and notes…  So yes, I do have a fair amount of editing to do this month, one way or the other, before I feel comfortable resuming the actual writing.   

A late start, yes, but NaNoEdMo is on.   I am still setting this up, but I know this so far.  There will not be any attempt to reach some crazy goal.  I am not going for a “win” here.  I will try to get to the end of the draft with a bunch of red inking and some minor notes, and that is about it.

So why participate in the first place?  Well, NaNoWriMo was a wonderful experience where I could interact with other people who were having the same experience I was with their artistic efforts.  I haven’t had that sense of community with my last two project and, well, I miss it.

Sure, I post a lot of crazy manic stuff about my projects on Facebook, but no one there really can relate (or cares that much, let’s be honest!).  But with NaNoWriMo, people did relate because, in those forums, they were all going through the exact same thing…

This is all in prep for the April Camp NaNoWriMo, and I’ll be using that venue to finish the damn book.  This is cool because, unlike November’s NaNoWriMo, this event has variable goals, and I can set them to meet the projected length of the novel.

Right now I am aiming for 110,000 words.  That will involve some significant cuts during NaNoEdMo and a rather economical run to the end of the novel.  I am worried that it will be hard to fit it all in in 30K words, but there may be up to 20K that I can trim (10K is more likely) this month.
So, I am looking at up to about 50,000 words to churn out in April, but I think it will go quickly, once I am settled back into the world of the book and, from where I left off to the end, everything is practically written in my head already.  It is just a matter of banging through to the end.

NaNoEdMo: http://www.test.nanoedmo.net

Camp NaNoWriMo: http://campnanowrimo.org

Dead Can Dance Video: http://genero.tv/watch-video/35247

Olafur Arnalds Video: http://genero.tv/olafurarnalds/

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Monday, December 24, 2012

a life full of changes… christmas 2012

Christmas Tree.  Fair Oaks, California.  December 24, 2012.

My brain is all over the place this morning.  It is Christmas Eve and that kind of sucks this year.  I am very far from my children and will miss spending the day with them tomorrow.  Sure, I am down in California taking care of my mother, but I miss them.  We’d hoped to make it up there for Christmas but that just didn’t work this year.

We should be out of here in a couple weeks.  Time to get to work, time to get this show on the road.  A lot of hard work has been done, a lot of hard work remains to be done, and then, once we get mom moved out of here, we have another move to organize up north.  Moving from our too small apartment to a location as yet to be determined.

There is a lot of work ahead.

I’ve been a little in denial about Christmas.  Last night mom suggested setting up the small tree, and my first reaction was that I did not want to do that.  But I thought about it for a few and decided that it wouldn’t hurt.  It is not a very festive holiday down here, considering everything going on, but I think it did help, setting up the little tree. 

Obviously, this is not the holiday we’d hoped for this year.  Instead of having everyone together down here, which was the original plan a couple months ago, we are separated.  And we’ve lost someone.  It is not a happy holiday this year.  I am in the house I wanted to be in this year, but without the people I wanted to spend Christmas with.  Of course, mom is here, but I am sure she feels quite the same as I, and much worse considering her loss.

Turned 40 a few days ago, the day before the world was supposed to end.  Funny how things work.  Not a huge deal, I think I had my freak out last year when I turned 39.  That was the year I went through the “OhmahGodIamALMOSTFORTYandIhavedoneNOTHINGwithmyLIFE!” fit. 

I am pretty grateful about where I am in life, this year.  I have the time and opportunity to take care of my family through some difficult times, and I can see light on the horizon, I can start to sense where, when, and how all of this work over the last couple years will pay off. 

But I can still get a little bitter from time to time. 

Earlier this morning I was reading about a 20 year old photographer on flikr who started a Photo of the Day project a little over three hundred days ago and has turned it into his full time career in under a year.  Brat.  Then I remembered, 20 year olds have a lot more time to work on Art than 40 year olds with a family in seemingly perpetual crisis.  He probably also has a “real” camera.

His life is also scaled a little differently than mine.  He was able to walk away from his day job delivering pizzas.  If I do not return to my old career when this phase of my life is over, I will be walking away from quite a bit more than pizza delivery…

I have to also remember that photography has not been my career goal the last couple years.  I may have been able to find such small success if I had been able to invest more time and effort into the art, but the main thing photography has done the last couple years for me is to keep my sanity intact through everything. 

Pictures are small, bite sized things that did not distract me from my family (too much); small projects masqueraded for the most part as hikes for sanity and exercise, outings and vacations with the boys, etc.  And, unlike writing, I can edit photos and videos surrounded by family chaos and not need to be alone, isolated in my room away from everyone and everything.

Yes, I would like to start making some money from those efforts, but that is still in the future for me.  I do see myself hanging that shingle out in 2013, though.  I was looking at a photographer’s website earlier today who specializes in family portraits and started thinking, yes, I could do that. 

But I need to get a “real” camera first.  Realistically, it doesn’t make much difference as far as the photos go, but it is everything when it comes to “Professional Appearance.”  If I show up at someone’s home with my little Powershot and want to charge them hundreds of dollars…   Well, it’s really about the time, talent, and 30 years of experience, not about the camera, but most people don’t understand that.

So, while dealing with the moving and the everything, I need to be looking to get a better camera running, and I need a little time to really consider what my photography goals for 2013 are before I make any decisions there. 

To be honest, the camera I want is not a professional looking DSLR, and it would be, perhaps, even better than a DSLR for what I use my camera for most, at this point.  However, if I really want to start generating some income, I may have to upgrade to a DSLR.

Of course, I could always go with a sneaky little Plan B that has lurked in the back of my mind for years.  Just get a new lens for my old but awesome Minolta film SLR and use it as a stunt camera, an accessory worn around my neck, and then just use my little digitals to actually shoot.  Or I could even go back to film.  Or…

Or I could take the time to actually put a plan together and implement it.

This is where I am really feeling it this year.  Time.  I have too little.  I need more.  All I really want for Christmas is 36 hours in each day.

I need time to sit down and put a business plan together.  I need time to sit down and figure out what I want to be when I grow up and the family’s perpetual crisis is finally as resolved as it will ever be (hopefully a few months after all the moving is done). 

But these are enigmatic things, I also need time to edit my One Day On Earth videos, I need time to select some photos for some contests with end of the year deadlines (and not get distracted by editing everything in the batch looking for hidden treasures)…  I need time to finish my novel, to revise it, to plug into the Portland writing community so I can workshop it… 

I need time to pursue all of these things, which, when put together, should add up to something that looks pretty damn close to a self supporting career.

Bite sized chunks.  Right now, I’ve got my priorities.  Work on the contest photos (in a more focused manner than yesterday), work on the videos… I have less than a week for the former and 19 days to get my videos uploaded. 

Then, when those things are done, I can return to the novel and get the first draft completed.  Until then, all the writing goals are pretty much beyond my reach.

Even those tasks are secondary, though.  What I really need the time, focus and energy for right now is with shepherding my family through two moves in two months.

When mom and I finally get out of here, and when we get settled into a house up in Oregon, then I may have time to really settle down and to take a look at 2013 goals.  Until then, well, there are time critical tasks that just need to be knocked down.

But it feels chaotic, and I hate that.  It is bugging me.  And it is Christmas and my family is broken this year and that is dragging me down a bit, making the chaos feel even more obnoxious, distracting and confusing.  Overwhelming. 

And I am really feeling like all the time I have spent writing, filming, and editing the last couple months is wasted time.  Time spent on hobbies, not on “real” things, distracting me from the very real job I have of getting my mother and children into a healthy, stable environment as quickly as possible.

Of course, these artistic projects are not “hobbies” but part of the foundation I am trying to lay to build the rest of my life on, to build a real career on once my family’s immediate demands on my time are lessened and I can actually pursue a career once again.  So they are important tasks.  But they do not come with immediate rewards.

These are not easy weeks in our lives. 

The end of 2012 was supposed to be a couple month long celebration of my family’s success the last couple years.  I finally thought I would have the ability to take on larger projects- National Novel Writing Month and more complex videos for One Day On Earth.  Then we’d all come down to mom’s for a really great Christmas with her and Mario. 

2013 was supposed to start with a first draft completed, some well shot videos being finished up, the boys settled into school and doing well, and myself being in a place where I was really starting to work on the next stage of my life.

Instead, everything got a lot more complicated and darker on November 8, when my stepfather Mario unexpectedly passed away.  The end of this year and the start of next year took a huge turn in a strange direction.

While still a period of transition, the changes are much more dramatic and the work is a lot harder than anything I’d been planning on. 

Even the family pieces, the boys’ stability, school performance, etc… has been rocked by these events.

The Big One was pulling straight As and Bs the first term, this term he is heading into break with Cs and Ds.  The next step, in early November, for The Little One was to be starting on getting him caught up academically, and truly determining what his best school placement will be at this stage in his life, which is going to still be the next step in January, when we get back up north, and will be a huge project to start while house hunting and moving out from out apartment. 

So, that probably puts everything else I had planned for early 2013 on hold until the Spring, at least.  Which is frustrating and discouraging.

But, and this is a huge but…  These things are all good things for the family in the long run. 

When we are set up in a house, when we are all settled in, the family should be in the most stable place it has been in for quite some time.  We will come out of this transition period much stronger than we’ve ever been.  It will be very good.

It has just turned out to be a harder, more complicated process getting through from here to there than I’d expected.  And more painful.  We’ve had a devastating loss.   Because of that, it is difficult, in the moment, to see how this is all going to be good in the long run.

So tomorrow it is Christmas, whatever that will be for mom and I this year.  Watch the kids open presents on Skype.  Eat dinner later with some relatives.  Miss my children.  Miss Mario.

Forgive me if my enthusiasm and optimism has been waning a bit the last week or so.  It will be back, but this is a hard time in our lives right now.

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Monday, December 17, 2012

NaNoWriMo 2012: Plans for 2013

From Rubble: NaNoWriMo 2012: Plans for 2013

Fullscreen capture 12172012 12336 PM.bmp

Someone in the PDX NaNo group asked about our writing plans today, and it gave me a chance to sort of take stock of where I am with my novel at this point…

My response:

Finish the first draft of the NaNo novel by Feb. 1. I want to make this a fairly hard deadline and it may require November style efforts the last two weeks of January to make it possible.
Since I am going to have a lot of downtime on the writing front between now and then, I will probably begin revisions at that point, since I will have "been away" from the first chapters for about three months by then, giving me some space from those early words.
I am not sure if I am going to do an entire re-write or just edit the existing draft at that point, I will decide when I read it and have a chance to triage the thing. I will be doing a full rewrite eventually, but if it is holding together somewhat, I may just do heavy edits and then send it off to readers first.
I suppose I would like to be at that point, sending it off to readers, by some time in April if I am editing, or late May/early June if I am rewriting. Then, after I start getting some feedback, I'll go back to the drawing board and make further plans from there.

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December Is a Cruel Month

From Rubble: December is a cruel month

Two images tell most of the story…

Fullscreen capture 12172012 112748 AM.bmp

Against the Dying Word Counts.xlsx 12172012 111710 AM.bmp

The first is a countdown on the One Day site for the deadline for us submitting our films.  The second is progress on my novel.  See a connection?

On top of this, I am not on some sort of artist’s retreat down here is Sacramento, I have a lot of hard work to do to get my mother and I out of here by the time my kids’ winter break is done.

Finally, I have a couple of days’ worth of prep work on some photography contests with an end of the year deadline.  I will probably be using pictures from the big August camping trip, most of which I have not looked at since, well, August.

So, a while back I set a sort of deadline for myself…  I would like to have the first draft of the novel done by February 1.  This is still achievable, even if little work is done until the last two weeks of January. 

We have 21 days or so to get the move done.  And I have 26 days to get my video done, which should go a lot better than last year’s since I have a better computer to work with and “better” clips shot with a better camera.

It is a much more complicated video, I suspect, than last year’s, and I am breaking it down into segments, the first of which I’ve already completed (long weekend).  The only thing really intimidating me about the video right now is how many clips I have to run through and organize, and some untested, by myself, editing techniques that I hope to use with some of them.

And the arts work will be morning and evening work with the days spent working with mom on the move and assorted other issues.

I can do it, but I need to stay focused and I need to remember…  The next couple of months will be full of hard work, but the rewards will be tremendous when it is all complete.

Here is the first completed segment for the video, though it may be the last piece to appear in it.  I’ll also post it as it’s own post later for my own indexing purposes…

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Sunday, December 9, 2012

One Day On Earth: 12.12.12… So it begins

From Rubble: One Day On Earth: 12.12.12… So it begins

312755_3876785042879_505673581_nFullscreen capture 1292012 14207 PM.bmp Fullscreen capture 1292012 12843 PM.bmp Winner-180x180

Pretty much the same post I threw up in late October about NaNoWriMo 2012. 

Between working on this project and finishing the NaNoWriMo novel (I did get over 50,000 words in during November to “win” the event), I won’t be posting much on the blogs until 2013.  Well, I’ll probably throw a thing or two up here on Rubble, but as for the other blogs?  Unlikely.

I wanted to do something quick and easy for One Day since the more complex idea a friend and I had will be impossible, since I am in Sacramento and not Portland, but things happen and after doing some planning and discovering that there is a theme for this years event, my idea for this year will be pretty complicated to edit.

Of course, I won’t be filming until Wednesday 12.12.12, but before then there is some prep work, and after there is going to be a whole bunch of editing.  And a whole bunch of writing on the novel.  And a whole bunch of major life stuff.

So the blogs will remain on hold for the time being.

Yes, this is being reposted everywhere…

One Day on Earth - Film on 12.12.12 from One Day on Earth on Vimeo.

One Day On Earth - 11-11-11 - Gresham and Portland, Oregon (720p) from A. F. Litt on Vimeo.

http://www.onedayonearth.org

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One Day On Earth: 12.12.12… So it begins

312755_3876785042879_505673581_nFullscreen capture 1292012 14207 PM.bmp   Fullscreen capture 1292012 12843 PM.bmp   Winner-180x180

Pretty much the same post I threw up in late October about NaNoWriMo 2012. 

Between working on this project and finishing the NaNoWriMo novel (I did get over 50,000 words in during November to “win” the event), I won’t be posting much on the blogs until 2013.

I wanted to do something quick and easy for One Day since the more complex idea a friend and I had will be impossible, since I am in Sacramento and not Portland, but things happen and after doing some planning and discovering that there is a theme for this years event, my idea for this year will be pretty complicated to edit.

Of course, I won’t be filming until Wednesday 12.12.12, but before then there is some prep work, and after there is going to be a whole bunch of editing.  And a whole bunch of writing on the novel.  And a whole bunch of major life stuff.

So the blogs will remain on hold for the time being.

Yes, this is being reposted everywhere…

One Day on Earth - Film on 12.12.12 from One Day on Earth on Vimeo.

One Day On Earth - 11-11-11 - Gresham and Portland, Oregon (720p) from A. F. Litt on Vimeo.

http://www.onedayonearth.org

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Monday, December 3, 2012

NaNoWriMo 2012: Won but not Done

From Rubble: NaNoWriMo 2012: Won but not Done

11:59, 11-30-12So, I won.

Around  9:15 PM on November 28, I crossed the finish line with 50,276 words.

Plowing through to the end of the month, at about ten minutes to midnight on November 30, I reached 66,724 words. 

Winner-180x180The last day, since I was not able to participate in the Black Friday 10,000 Word Challenge, I had my own, and I made it with 10,011 words by midnight on the last day of the event.

So what does this all mean?

Well, winning just means that you validated with the NaNoWriMo website that you have written 50,000 words by the end of the month.  It works on the honor system, so yes, I could have pasted 50,000 words in to the widget from an eBook and validated for a win, but I did not, I wrote them all.

It does not mean that I am done.  I still have to finish my novel, which is only a little over halfway done as I write this, though I am certain that I would still be on the first chapter or two if it were not for NaNoWriMo.  Especially considering everything going on this month.  It was a very tough month.

The evening I won, I shared this on Facebook:

Yes, I am excited because I wasn't sure if I could do it, especially considering what a month it has been.
But, I did not and will not finish the novel itself this month because it grew, a lot, since I started working on the outline last October. So while I have written a piece of fiction that is the minimum length for a novel, I have not actually w
ritten a novel yet.
Still, 50,000 words (approximately 144 paperback pages) in 28 days is a pretty decent accomplishment and one that I should be proud of.
Finally, it is kind of lonely. Strange, huh? This is a solitary accomplishment, as it is a solitary art, and while everyone looked up from what they were doing here to say "Good Job," no one else quite felt like dancing around the room shouting, "Hells Yeah!"
Considering what everyone in this room has been through the last few weeks, I didn't feel much like doing that either. Which is kind of a shame.
But when I actually finish the novel? Jumping around the room and yelling?
It's on.

Honestly, I looked on with envy as many people in the Portland NaNo Facebook Group rolled up to the end of their novels.  There was also some fear there, because I was (and am still) not sure if I will be able to finish the novel. 

NaNoWriMo 2012 - Winner (1)Sure, I know the way to the ending, and I look forward to getting there, but now that November is over, will it drop so far down on my priority list that I never actually get around to the ending?  Because of NaNoWriMo, though, those fears are pretty small and weak right now, but they are still there.

And then, all the editing and rewriting. 

I busted my ass to get to where I am with this book now, and I am no where near done with it.  There are months of work ahead, maybe years.

To be honest, over the weekend this started psyching me out a little.  I spent almost every waking free moment I had in November working on this project.  I read nothing, I watched almost nothing, I took few pictures and edited even fewer… 

Fullscreen capture 1232012 113049 AM.bmp

This weekend, it really sunk in.  I cruised ahead to a word count of 74,848 by last night, but it was a full day’s work both on Saturday and Sunday to continue that progress. 

Unfortunately, after November, what I probably needed more than an expanded word count was a couple days of real rest, and I did not get it.

So this is an important week for me.  I need to figure out what role this novel will take in my life as I move ahead from here.

I put the work in over the weekend because I wanted to make sure that I continued after November 30 and I wanted to get to a certain point in the novel where I felt like the end was closer than the beginning, and both of those things are going to be critical if I ever hope to finish this thing.

However, I cannot necessarily continue through December like I did through November, I need to slow down a bit.  Or do I?  Maybe I should just continue as if it were still November and pound through to the end?

But that may mean setting aside some photography projects that I really want to accomplish by the end of 2012.   Also, I have a lot of hard work ahead over the next couple months helping my mother through a lot of difficult life transitions.

Of course, as I wrote yesterday on Facebook, this month, December, is supposed to be about hard work, and if I really dial it in, I am sure that I can accomplish many of these goals.  Maybe not ending December with a finished first draft, but being pretty close. 

And the photography projects are not huge ones.  Of course, One Day On Earth: 12.12.12 could be a huge project, but my participation is scalable, and being in a relatively unfamiliar part of the country, I may need to scale it down anyway.

I do not need to figure all of this out at once.  Writing this is merely a piece of that process for me.   A lot of it will be determined for me by life events beyond my control, as well.

That all being said, it was one hell of an experience.  While this is the 3rd novel I’ve started, it is now, by far, the most complete one I’ve written and NaNoWriMo was definitely responsible for that, and for getting me over all the humps and though to the point where I know this is a valid project worth dedicating significant time to and worth seeing through to the end.

Personally, I think the final result, a couple drafts down the line, will be pretty solid and worth taking to the next step, trying to get it published.  Of course, no one, including myself, has read it yet, but I do know what I have written was interesting enough to keep me parked at my keyboard through some long hours last month, so it feels like it is off to a very good start.

I will be writing one more post about this year’s NaNoWriMo, maybe later today, maybe tomorrow, and then that will be it for the 2012 event for me.  Work on the novel will continue, but I will spare everyone my daily Facebook updates and my semi-regular check ins here. 

The time I’ve been taking to write those words and to post those posts will be spent elsewhere, working on some other interesting things.

One last quick note, someone in the PDX NaNo Group found this: NaNoFiMo – National Novel Finishing Month.  I registered but I do not think I will be attempting this in any sort of formal way.

I would like to finish by the end of 2012, but it is not my most important priority for December.

Instead, I will be trying to stay focused on writing a little every day, most days, and I’ll be setting smaller, short term goals that, hopefully, sooner rather than later, will carry me through to “The End.”

NaNoFiMo – National Novel Finishing Month

1. Your mission is to finish your NaNoWriMo novel or any other unfinished novel from 2012.
2. The official goal is 30,000 words and writing 'the end' on your manuscript.
3. If your novel needs less than 30,000 words (or more!), you can also set your own personal goal. The most important thing is reaching the end.
4. All word-counting is based on the honour system, so when you report your total just tell us what your own word-processor is telling you.
5. Be nice. This is a friendly, all-ages site. No swearing, mature content or aggressive behaviour will be tolerated.
6. No, there won't be Personal Progress Threads. Instead, we have daily reporting. You can check the 2011 archive to see what this looks like.

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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

NaNoWriMo 2012: Writing the books I want to read

From Rubble: Writers on Writing: Writing the books I want to read

“I wrote my first novel because I wanted to read it.”  Toni Morrison

It will be awhile before I can type the metaphorical "The End" on mine, but yes.  And I hope that I end up writing several more that I want to read.  Whether or not they are novels anyone else wants to read will be determined later, but I cannot picture doing work like this any other way and, in the end, I really don't care. 

The odds of ever making a living wage from writing fiction are so long that if it is not a labor of love, there is no reason to do it at all.  And I suspect that the only people that I actually care about reading it will read it if it is published or not.

Don't get me wrong, I'll try, and it would be wonderful if all the hard work pays off with publication, but that cannot be my motivation for actually doing this or I never will.  What is driving me is not the desire to start collecting rejection letters, but the simple desire of seeing how the story actually ends, not as I plan, but how it works out through the actual process of putting words onto a page, one at a time and seeing how they fit together and where they ultimately lead.

As for the novel I am working on now for NaNoWriMo…

It does not look like I'll get much writing done until Thursday. I am 5K away, which for me is about two solid writing sessions or one long one. Would have liked to have validated for a win already, but life got in the way, so it looks like its going to be something of a squeaker this year.

But, the ball is in my hands. It is up to me if I win or lose. The great thing, when I started on November 1, this was my first year and I had no idea if I could do this or not. 26 days later, I know I can, whether or not I get the last 5K in on time or not, which is a pretty awesome feeling, especially considering what an insane and heavy month this was for myself and my family.

As I’ve written, here or elsewhere, I am not sure, this is the third novel that I’ve started.  The first one was a fairly formulaic fantasy novel that I wrote about 140 pages of in high school.  The second one was a complex, strange thing that was both semi-autobiographical and a dive into magical realism (though I never quite got around to writing those parts)… 

The second one kind of broke my heart.  I was in a transitional place in my life and took about six months or more to just work on the novel.  And then it died on me.  I just couldn’t find the thread of the thing that pulled it together and pushed it towards any sort of resolution.  Really, I knew this then and over the 12 years since then, I can see this even more clearly, I just wasn’t ready to write that book yet.  I did not have the life experience I needed to pull that one off yet.  Someday.  I still have a hard copy, though the word files died on a hard drive several years back.

That was a tough experience, though.  I put a lot into that work only to have it die on me, unfinished and unfinishable.  It may, in fact, be why I have done almost no creative writing since then except for a few poems back around 2005 or so and a few song lyrics back in 2008.  I didn’t want to risk another broken heart and I didn’t want to risk a six month or longer investment on a project that could die with no real returns on my investment.

As for the first novel, in some ways the novel I am working on now is a direct descendant.  I never really let those ideas go and over the last quarter century or so, those ideas have morphed into another, complex and long novel that I will probably write in the next couple of years.  I’ve actually spent years researching and developing the world that novel is set in. 

My NaNoWriMo novel is not that book, but it is set in the same universe. 

So, as I head back south to California today and finish my 50,000 words for NaNoWriMo tomorrow and Friday, I am remembering.  Yes, this may be the first novel I finish (or have a fair shot at finishing), but it is not the first, and while I may not have been writing much for the last decade or so, the process of being a novelist has been happening the whole time, quietly in the background. 

I am very excited that all that work is starting to actually pay off with some words on a page and, in another month or two, I look forward to finishing an actual draft of a book.  While I might not actually write “The End” on the last page, it will feel damn good when I reach the point where I can, if I choose to, write those words.

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Thursday, November 15, 2012

NaNoWriMo 2012: Halfway Point

From Rubble: NaNoWriMo: Halfway Point

November 15, 2012.  Halfway Point. Participant-180x180-2November 15, 2012.  Halfway Point.

Today is the halfway point on the calendar.  I am a little behind, but one solid day of writing today or tomorrow and I will be right on target for reaching 50K words by midnight on the 30th.

20,062 as of this morning.  No writing yet today, those 278 words were from yesterday, I just updated my word count.  It would be nice to hit 25K by the end of today.

Even still being within reach of 50K is a miracle considering how hectic my life has been this month.  If the month had gone as planned, I’d probably be close to the 50K mark already and well on target for reaching the 80 – 100K goal I have for this manuscript.

But that is all right.  Important things are going on and I need to divide my efforts.  Over the next few months, it looks like I will have plenty of time to write, and probably more in December than in November anyway, so I am not worried about finishing this draft in a fairly prompt manner.

Reaching the 50K mark, though, will be still be a challenge considering everything that is going on. 

I know that there are probably a week’s worth of days before the end of the month where I will have little to no time to write.  Even on the less crazy days, finding time to keep up with the book with everything else going on is bound to be difficult and because of the nature of these “distractions,” the book is definitely a secondary goal.

Of course, writing three or four blog posts this morning would seem like a tertiary goal, and it probably should be, but I needed some time to sit down and take stock of things.  Keeping an eye on another project I am working on, One Day On Earth, and just to check in with myself and others. 

And I’ve cleared my schedule today of as much as I can.  Today is a work day.

Some thoughts on the draft so far…

It is going well.  All the work I put in during the last couple weeks of October is really paying off.  So far, most of the draft has veered way off of my planned outline, but not really.  It is telling the story I planned, just in a way that is a little different than how I thought it would.  And the original outline is still handy, because I will be looping back into it some time during the next 10,000 words or so.

A lot of the story that I thought I would be filling in later on is just being told earlier in the book than I expected, and as I write, it feels right.  Plus, I was worried about needing to break up the plot with flashbacks, etc. later on that I will not need now, which is probably going to be a good thing.

As I was organizing my outline in October, I was a little worried that I would be writing too much to the outline anyway, and this is definitely not happening.  I was worried that I would not be following the flow of the story but rather herding the narrative so it would fit the outline. 

From past experience, I did not think that following the outline more than the natural flow of the story would be a good thing.  Plus, I originally planned for this to be more of a fun, seat of the pants writing experience than it seemed to become after all of my outlining and plot development in October, but that sense of fun and of watching events unfold, almost as a third party reader, is still present as I write, which is usually what happens when I produce my best work.

So, bottom line, things are good. 

Slogging through the middle of the month, I am at the point where a little more discipline is needed.  The novelty of the project is wearing off and now it is feeling more like a chore; a fun chore, but still a chore. 

I expected this.  These feelings also tell me that I am probably right where I am supposed to be with this project at this point in time.

And so forth…

Update: 10:15 PM

I've got one scene to write before I am done with the unofficial first act of my novel and I am eager to write it, but at the same time I am tired, it is getting late, and it has been a long day. To be honest, I am trying to figure out if the scene will be stronger if I write it now, when things are flowing well but I am tired, or in the morning when I am rested, but still warming up. And it is a fairly important scene (but I suppose all of them are or they shouldn't be in the book at all).
Going to take a short break before I decide. In case I call it a night, today's stats...
Your Average Per Day 1,704
Words Written Today 5,785
Target Word Count 50,000
Target Average Words Per Day 1,667
Total Words Written 25,569
Words Remaining 24,431
Current Day 15
Days Remaining 16
At This Rate You Will Finish On November 29, 2012
Words Per Day To Finish On Time 1,527
Yes. Officially halfway to 50K. Back on track. It has been a long day.

Also thought I’d share this semi random comment I wrote as a reply to another comment when I posted tonight’s stats on Facebook.  A friend asked me about my professional writing, and I replied…

Unless you've spent time as semi-slave labor in Malaysia, working as a copy boy for an evil corporation, as a data entry geek for ten year dead dot com, or other such hells, you wouldn't have read any of my "published" professional work.
This is my first serious swing at fiction in over ten years. It's National Novel Writing Month where the goal is to complete 50,000 words, at least, of a first draft, and hopefully a complete draft, in 30 days. This is more of a motivational thing for fiction writers than a real competition, but its fun and hopefully I will produce something that I can try to get published a couple more drafts down the line.
Next spring, after I finish a second draft, I'll probably be looking for volunteer readers to give me some notes on the thing, so let me know then if you would be interested. I won't be keeping it a secret that I'm looking for readers when I am ready for them.

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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

NaNoWriMo 2012: Some Thoughts…

From Rubble: A photo & some thoughts on NaNoWriMo

For Weak Women!  Barn.  Jackson Highway.  Washington.  August 12, 2012.  Featured: October 30, 2012.

Red Blood for Weak Women.  Barn.  Jackson Highway.  Washington.  August 12, 2012.  Featured: October 30, 2012.

But will it help weak writers?  Probably.  But probably in ways counterindicated for people such as myself.

Posted this up on Facebook a minute ago:

Novel update: A part of me just wants to dive in and start writing. Another part wants another two weeks to flesh out the details before I start. Another part is pretty sure it's all crap and will fall apart as soon as I finish the first chapter. Another part is certain that this may be the greatest piece of literature produced this decade and, because of that, it will write itself with practically no effort.
The truth is some blend of all of that.
This morning, as I get to work, I am focusing on trusting the process.
I have a plan. I know from experience that it is a good one. I need to trust myself enough to follow it.

WTF am I doing posting a picture when I have a month to write a frickin’ book!?!  Keeping myself sane.  I’ll be doing this from time to time.  The pictures will probably be of things that remind me of the settings of the novel. 

I may do this often, or this may be the only time, over the next month. 

Today, sitting down to get to work, I was feeling a little scattered after running around like a chicken with my head cut off all morning dealing with the boys’ issues (one sick, the other needing a check in with a couple teachers at school) and, well, the book was just sitting there staring at me. 

Posting up a picture seemed like a good way to get settled down into work mode.

And after dealing with the frustration of slow interwebs and slower computers, writing will feel simple.  Just typing, not waiting on the little spinning circles and hourglasses as I hover on the edge of insanity.

(5 minutes later, still waiting on everything…  Oh, yeah.  This is definitely working.  Typing versus this?  Oh Hell YEAH!)

One final thought, inspired by an old friend.  He pointed out that “most creative work fails not because of any lack of talent or ability, rather it is never finished.”

That is my biggest fear heading into this, and one of the issues that I discussed yesterday. 

It's also why I decided to do NaNoWriMo this year.  It’s a great motivational tool to get a solid draft done on this project. I've been avoiding work on creative writing for over a decade and it is time to get back to work, but there is also a lot of fear of failure heading into it.

That is fine, but I need to be sure that fear of failure does does not become an excuse to walk away from this.

Products featuring photography by A. F. Litt:

deviantArt: Prints, cards, mugs, mouse pads, magnets, puzzles and other products.

500px.com – Quality Canvas Prints

Cafe Press: Calendars, etc.

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