Thawing after the ice storm. Orient, Oregon. February 9, 2014.
Just a quick one I threw together yesterday… An opportunity to familiarize myself with some of the Premier Pro CC changes, to do some side by side work with some different cameras (used my lousy Android phone for some of these shots), and to play with some more complex audio mixing than I’ve done so far.
What are those portables next to the school? Some people are not sure, they said things like, "Oh, that's where I hide my bodies!" According to one student, "It's just a different learning environment for the kids who need it. (A bit like us.)" Well, this is not wrong.
The portables are home to to separate curricula that are a bit different from STHS. These curricula are referred to as the Structured Skills Center (SSC) and the Adult Living Program (ALP). These are different learning environments. Though the Structured Skills Center is the focal point of the portables, the Adult Living Program is of equal importance.
The main goal of the Adult Living Program is to help different people with different issues become successful with basic adult tasks.
"The program is here to help students with various disabilities become independent," says Denise Gies, Program Director of ALP, "Some are already more independent than others." The program is for people ages 18-21 with a high school diploma and a disability (or two) to learn essential skills for living alone.
Here is something that may be confusing. Why would people go back into an educational learning environment to learn something not "school related" (Math, Science, History, English, etc.) when they are old enough to refuse? Let's pretend that, when someone is older, they could realize that the skills they need to live alone are... missing, because they may have never learned it. Also, if they have a certain disability that doesn't help them, they would need to learn how to deal with it. If they don't have these skills, they will not be able stay on their own which is is not advisable for an adult. Since these skills are required, they would need to learn them. This program helps people with that.
The environment inside the portable is small. It looks smaller on the outside though. There is a kitchen inside where students can learn to cook meals and learn the proper cooking temperatures for the food. If they don't know this they can get salmonella poison or food poisoning. The kitchen also allows for extra work such as washing dishes, cleaning counters, putting things away, etc. The students here learn to wash dishes and all that at school. They also have washing machines and dryers that are used to teach how to do laundry and clean up after themselves, which is an essential skill for living on their own. This part of the ALP is very important too.
There is a class that is called My Money. This is easily the most important thing about the program. This class is about managing money and how to use it. It can teach them how to keep a budget and how to assure a steady amount of left over money. It teaches how to operate a cash register in case they would want to get a job as a clerk.
The students are like a big happy family. They all know each other and they all work together. They co-operate with one another and their friends. They are not troubled kids from Hogan Cedars they are nice people that need a little bit of support. Once they get that support they can leave.
"They attend because they want to," Denise.said, "They can leave anytime, after checking out." A student at ALP said, when prompted, "I like it here, it's cool and helps me a lot". When asked if they are glad they found the program they replied with, "Yes, I'm happy ALP is here."
…and my word count is ZERO.
That’s right, goose egg. Nada y nada…
So I should be in a state of panic, flailing through the murk and mud of desperation, frantically flinging that mud at a blank page just so I have something that just might stick, right?
How can this be?
Well, it is a success because it is accomplishing its goal; it has me thinking about writing and the writing process every day. It has taken my book out of its 11-month hiatus and put it back into the forefront of my mind, not as a “Once I get some time, and the fairies flutter, dancing through the air ‘midst the flying pigs, I will sit down and finish my book…” sort of project but as a real and active project that requires scheduling and thought and work and sacrifice of sleep and a revision of other goals to happen.
NaNoWriMo 2013 has been a success for me, so far, because it has allowed me to do these things and to, therefore, be a writer again for the first time since early December 2012.
Unfortunately, because of that 11-month hiatus, my writing process does not allow me to dive immediately right back into writing on this novel. Sure, I could review my outline and notes, re-read the last 20 pages and dive in, but I know that the inconsistencies this would create within the draft would take more time to hammer out later than it is worth, and there is always the danger that some of those continuity errors, from style to major plot points, might survive through to later drafts, so I’d rather take the time to do this right, and that means reading before writing.
And I have been reading, so I can say work on the novel has resumed, which is a very exciting thing for me. Plus, the process of reading is getting me fired up to do some writing, hopefully very soon.
So I should end November with some points on the board, though it may be nowhere near 50K mark. But this is okay. As I wrote at the beginning of the month, my goals are different this year.
And so far, considering my personal goals for this year, I feel that this has been a very successful NaNoWriMo for me, even if my word count is still at zero.
It has been a struggle, though, to start building the habits I’ll need to see this project through to the end. Working on my novel every day? Not even close, yet, but I am getting closer. It is a process and, like I mentioned before, it involves scheduling time and revising goals in other areas of life and it involves making a few sacrifices, not only in the sleep department. But it is a win, so far, because, for the first time in a long time, I am doing these things instead of thinking about doing these things or, my favorite cop out, trying to do these things and failing.
As for the novel itself, there is a lot to be gained from reading it after such a long break. I remember the broad strokes but not all of the details, and this break has really allowed me to see the text with fresh eyes, seeing where my backstory is clear and where it needs to be fleshed out more, what details are redundant and can be trimmed and which need to be emphasized a little bit more.
Overall, I am pleased with the way the narrative is holding together, though some structural concerns I’ve had since early November last year will need to be addressed in the next draft.
To be sure, reading and editing are considered mortal sins in NaNoWriMo, and I’d be crazy to do much editing at this point in the draft anyway, so I am limiting myself to some light red inking and the occasional sparse note. If I am not careful, I could easily get lost in the lotus fields of endlessly tweaking the first chapters and never finishing a complete draft, and this is a trap I know not to fall into at this point in my development as a writer.
Moreover, what this process is giving me is not only the desire to see the first draft through to the end, but to also get started on the rewrite pretty darn quick when I am done with the first draft. I do not believe, due to that 11-month break, that a normal incubation time will be needed between the first and second draft because I’ve had a year break already on the first 86,000 words.
My eyes and ears are clear and ready to work and I am excited to see what this will look like when it is done, hopefully much sooner than later. And if it were not for NaNoWriMo 2013, I am not sure that the end would ever arrive. For that, I am very thankful. Regardless of how much actual writing I accomplish by the end of the month, I already consider 2013 a personal win because I am working on writing once again, and since I am working, reaching the end of this novel is actually possible now.
I’ve got two novels already, for various (and valid) reasons, laying half written on the dust heap. It would break my heart to add a third…
Of course, for this year to truly count as a win for me, with my personal goals, I have to keep working on this novel past the end of November, through December, and on into and through 2014. So, unlike most people, I will not know if I have “won” NaNoWriMo 2013 or not on December 1. It will take some time to tell whether or not I’ve met or exceeded my November goals, and that is my challenge this year.
Zero words, no problem. So far, so good, though, and I am making real progress towards accomplishing my November goals.
November 2 and my word count is zero. Yep.
And I’ve been planning on writing a blog post about NaNoWriMo 2013 for about a week now…
Well, we all have to start somewhere.
In a sense, though, I have started because I am taking the rebel route this year and finishing the book I started last year instead of starting a new one. Because of this, I am not going for a “win” this year with 50,000 words.
And I am not even setting a goal of finishing my book.
So why even “participate” if I am not really participating, if I am not even setting any goals?
Because, to me, one of the primary purposes of NaNoWriMo is that it gives aspiring writers a framework to build solid writing habits, and this is something I am in terrible need of this year.
I’ve been a professional writer for years, but it has been technical writing. Honestly, I find it difficult to even call that writing. Most of what I do in that field is layout design, photography, and cutting and pasting. But I’ve always considered myself a writer, it’s just been many, many years since I’ve actually done any real writing.
Last year, during my first NaNoWriMo, I finally felt like I was coming home to the craft I’d been neglecting for far too long. I was writing fiction for the first time in over a decade and I was writing a lot and almost every day. I was building all those good habits I’d been neglecting for so long: daily work, writing even if I wasn’t in the mood, working through blocks and deadspots, staring down the smug cold stare of the blank page and making it my bitch…
It felt good. And the community of writers online, who were all in the same place I was, going through the same things I was going through, added just enough encouragement to get through the tough spots. Writing is usually a very solo and sometimes lonely art, and I loved the community feel that NaNoWriMo (especially the Portland Facebook Group) brought to the experience.
In 2012, things went great. I jammed through my 50K and finished somewhere in the mid-60s. I didn’t finish the book, which was a goal, but it was firing along nicely and I was still working. Then, in mid-December, the next big project came along and I had to set the novel aside for while, but I was fired up and knew that I’d pick it up again, soon.
Then another project, then another project…
In the spring, I decided it was time to get back to work. My break had been long enough that continuity was going to be an issue, so I was going to use NaNoEdMo (Novel Editing Month) in March to re-familiarize myself with the draft so far and get some red inking in to prepare for Camp NaNoWriMo in April… Life got busy, more photography and video projects came rolling through… No editing, no writing… Not even any reading.
And now it is November again, and here I am.
So I will be a renegade in 2013. I will participate this year, but I will have different goals, and the primary one is to build better writing habits that are sustainable while working on other projects. Because of this, I do not want to drop everything and jam through to 50K or even just the end of the book, if that is (hopefully) closer than 50K words away.
I fear that if I set that goal and saw that it was unattainable that I would just bail on November entirely, like I did last Spring when things got busy, and that is exactly the opposite of what I want to do this year.
I also cannot drop everything for one project, and with the heavy demands of my family on my time (I am something like the on-site, full time social worker for my extended family, a role that is my “day job” right now), I need to work on making writing a part of my life most days, not just for insane spurts a couple months out of the year. So even if I could drop everything for a mad NaNoWriMo rush, doing so runs counter to my goals.
A few days back, while trying to find time (see, that is the issue I am trying to fix here) to write this post, an old friend of mine, Mia Marshal posted a great post on NaNoWriMo, about what it has meant to her and on why she is not participating this year.
In essence, Mia explains that “NaNoWriMo… taught me what it means to be a writer.” It taught her the discipline one needs and it gave her the tools she needs and the experience she needs to be a full time, professional writer. However, for her, because she has learned these lessons, now she is in a great place where:
…what I used to call NaNoWriMo, I now just call writing. At some point in the last two years, 50,000 words a month became my new normal, and it’s why I now call myself a writer.
Recently, I found myself in the mind blowing position where I needed to get some business cards printed up for my photography and video work. Not because I wanted them, but because people kept asking me for one. However, at the end of the day, I still consider myself a writer first, so I put that on my new cards, as well.
But Mia boils it down to the brass tacks. I can call myself a writer all day long, and I can consider myself a writer, because I used to do that thing and because I want to do that thing again. But until I can make NaNoWriMo every month, and not a crazy, burn everything except for writing experience but a natural, intergral part of what I do most days, then it doesn’t matter what is on my card or in my heart, because I am not doing the thing that I am claiming to do.
So my goal for NaNoWriMo 2013 is not a word count. My goal this year is to develop the discipline and tools I need to make writing a regular habit, a near daily part of my life, whether or not it is writing 1,667 words per day or not. And yes, I do want to finish last year’s book. But, if I succeed in my goal, it doesn’t matter if I finish it by the end of November or not, because I will finish it. And I will edit and rewrite. And I will start working on the next one after that.
A few years ago I started posting a Photo of the Day on Rubble. I stopped doing that a little over a year ago, because I felt that I’d achieved my goals with that project, which was forcing myself to work on photography every day.
As I wrote when I ended the Photo of the Day:
When I first started the POTD on February 13, 2011, I was in a very different place in life than I am right now. I was in a rebuilding phase and, as a part of that rebuilding, I wanted to put more focus on photography as I moved ahead in life.
Well, if the main goal of the project was to inspire me to take more photos, that is a mission accomplished.
Beyond accomplishing the goal of taking more photos, it also made me a better photographer. When I started the POTD project in early 2011 I was someone who enjoyed taking pictures. Almost three years later, I am going pro, and a big part of that is because I work on it every day in one way or another. At this point, I don’t need an artifical framework to force myself to do this. It now just who I am and what I do.
Starting a similar process with my fiction writing? That is my goal for NaNoWriMo 2013.
It is November 2 and I still haven’t re-read my draft from last year, so that is where I am starting. Organizing my notes and re-reading the existing draft. After that, I’ll either continue working towards finishing that draft, or I’ll start a complete re-write, depending on what I find over the next few days. Either way, it will be a little time before I break zero on my word count.
But this is good. Because I am doing it and not just thinking about it. It’s been too long since I’ve been doing and not just thinking about it, and I look forwards to getting to know my characters again. I’ve been away from them for far too long and, I promise, it will be different this time!
For the last year or two, I was posting these sorts of posts on my Rubble blog. However, over time my plans for these blogs have changed and evolved. At one point, Rubble was going to be my blog for all things arts oriented and this was going to be my blog for personal stuff, whether it was posts about family oriented issues, pictures of the kids, or just self-indulgent navel gazing.
I suppose that over the last year, I’ve come to realize that posts like this one are probably more in the self-indulgent navel gazing category rather than in the arts category.
Well, that may be a bit harsh. But as my artistic and professional life has evolved over the last year or so, so has my plans for these blogs. I was originally going to write a series of articles on my son’s special needs and dealing with life with a son with ASD and other such things for this blog, but I really don’t have the time now to do such a thing (oh, and it also turns out that ASD was a mis-diagnosis).
So one reason to move these posts from Rubble to SE2 is so I’ll actually have stuff to post here! But still, they are more personal and I want to, from here on, at least, keep Rubble for other sorts of less personal posts.
